Chelsea Clinton Hanged at GITMO

The false bravado Chelsea Clinton displayed at the conclusion of her military tribunal quickly evaporated when she learned the Office of Military Commissions intended to hang her, as it had her mother, for crimes committed against the nation and children of the world.

The decision to hang Clinton, a JAG source told Real Raw News, was not reached swiftly because Rear Adm. Crandall was initially uncertain whether legal precedence supported the execution of a criminal not convicted of murder or treason. Although the 3-officer panel recommended capitol punishment, Rear Adm. Crandall sought council instead of making a unilateral judgment.

On October 28, two days after Clinton’s conviction, Rear Adm. Crandall tasked 6 senior JAG officers with deciding whether Clinton should be hanged or spend life at Guantanamo Bay. Until that point, all executions took place after a military tribunal found the accused guilty of murder and/or treason, clearly defined capitol offenses worthy of a hanging or firing squad. Trafficking in foreign children, as opposed to American ones, “muddied the waters,” Rear Adm. Crandall said, but also admitted that the severity of Clinton’s crimes paralleled her mother’s.

For nine days JAG’s brightest legal minds pondered Clinton’s fate, ultimately concluding that Chelsea Clinton would indeed be hanged. “Chelsea Clinton’s crimes, on which she has been convicted, and wanton disregard for child safety and welfare leave us no choice but to support a death penalty. Her lack of remorse at her tribunal leads us to believe that lifelong imprisonment will not benefit her,” they wrote in a memorandum.

Upon learning her fate, Clinton collapsed in a tearful fit.

“You can’t hang me, I’m a mother, what about my children. They’ll be left motherless,” Clinton said to Rear Adm. Crandall.

“I guess you should have thought of that before you ruined the lives of thousands of mothers and children,” Rear Adm. Crandall snapped.

“Why don’t you hang Marc instead? Why aren’t you hanging him?” Clinton asked.

“He cooperated with us,” Rear Adm. Crandall replied.

“I’m so, so sorry. It was my mother and Bill. They forced me—” Clinton started, but Rear Adm. Crandall interrupted her.

“–You’re not very adroit at faking emotion. You hang tomorrow.”

And on the morning of November 6, Chelsea Clinton’s neck snapped, ending over 30 years of Clinton carnage.

RRN did not feel it necessary to spell out the details of the actual hanging as they were remarkably like those of other Deep State agents whose lives ended at the gallows.

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