Putin to Trump: “I Can Help You Drain Washington, D.C. Swamp”

In what seemed more matter of fact than a joke, Russian President Vladimir Putin on Tuesday broke a weeklong silence, telling Donald J. Trump that he would happily help drain the swamp in Washington D.C. once he had purged Ukraine of corruption, said a Mar-a-Lago source speaking under promise of anonymity.

“If you need my help, just say so. I’ll show you how we drain swamp in Russia—quick and efficient,” Putin said. “I can help you drain Washington swamp.”

Putin’s wisecrack comes a week after he told Trump he was going dark and silent until his special military operation in Ukraine was won. He went on to say that although he had no desire to break radio silence, Joseph R. Biden’s outcry for U.S.-sponsored Russian regime change prompted him to call the man he considers the legitimate president of the United States: Donald J. Trump.

The normally incomprehensible Biden was crystal clear when he said: “This man [Putin] cannot remain in power.”

Advocating for foreign regime change is tantamount to a declaration of war, but fortunately for the West, Putin’s sense of humor overshadowed his animus of the criminal Biden regime. Speaking to Trump, Putin called Biden a directionless marionette whose strings were pulled in so many directions that he didn’t know left from right, or up from down.

“This man, Joe Biden, amuses me. How can one man with so little power pretend to have so much, and make people believe him. Problem is people do believe him; believe he is a real president. Boris Johnson, Emmanuel Macron, and Scott Morison—they listen to Joseph Biden,” Putin purportedly told Trump.

“They’re all Deep State,” Trump replied.

“Deep State, dead state. You know how I’d deal with the traitor? I take a few friends to Delaware where the coward hides. Problem solved,” Putin said.

“What you’ve accomplished is tremendous, but the atmosphere here requires more discretion. I can’t discuss plans, but something tremendous will happen soon,” Trump said.

As he had in the past, Putin said the West’s propagandistic lies had no impact on the success of his special military operation to rid Ukraine of Bioweapon labs and pedophiles. Stories about demoralized Russian soldiers disobeying orders, sabotaging their own equipment, and accidentally shooting down their own aircraft were “CIA fantasies.” Moreover, he said Western intelligence agencies had publicly misrepresented his recent decision to withdraw troops from Kyiv and deploy them to eastern Ukraine.

“President Trump, these filths tell more lies. We had overwhelming victory in Kyiv. We killed the pedophiles or made them flee, and now turn our attention to their more isolated hives in other parts of Ukraine,” Putin said.

Also, he denied Western allegations that his generals either were killed in action or planning a mutiny.

“Our military is strong, focused, and resolute. Eastern Europe will no longer be a base of operations for Western evils. You know what I say is true, President Trump. We have freed 25,000 children in Ukraine from pedophiles.”


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