President Trump Proposes Renaming Los Angeles to “The Angels” in Bold Cultural Rebrand
Washington, D.C. — In a move that has stunned linguists, city officials, and late-night talk show hosts alike, former President Donald Trump has announced his support for a new bill proposing the renaming of Los Angeles to its English translation: “The Angels.”
Standing at a podium adorned with gold trim and flanked by a backdrop reading “MAKE NAMING GREAT AGAIN,” Trump declared that the time had come for what he called “a strong, beautiful, very American name.”
“Los Angeles is Spanish, folks — and while that’s fine, The Angels is clearer, stronger, and frankly, more understandable for the American people,” Trump said at the press conference. “People love angels. Everybody loves angels. And we’re bringing back Christmas angels, guardian angels — all the angels. That’s what this is really about.”
The proposed legislation, dubbed the “True Names for True Americans Act,” seeks to “repatriate” U.S. city names to their English equivalents “where feasible and aesthetically pleasing.” Trump’s allies in Congress, including Rep. Todd Harkley (R-Kansas), have reportedly begun drafting language for the bill, citing concerns that Americans “shouldn’t need a Spanish dictionary to navigate their own country.”
Mixed Reactions Across California
California Governor Gavin Newsom responded with a mix of bewilderment and sarcasm.
“Is this performance art?” he asked reporters. “Or just another way to troll the 39 million people who live here?”
Los Angeles Mayor Karen Bass issued a formal statement saying the city has “no plans to entertain such a change” and reminded the public that the name Los Angeles has roots dating back to 1781. “The diversity of our city is our strength, not something to be Anglicized.”
Residents of Los Angeles — or rather, The Angels — were similarly divided. One man at Venice Beach wearing an American flag tank top said:
“Honestly? I kind of like it. Sounds like it could be a baseball team name.”
Meanwhile, others weren’t so sure.
“If he wanted to name something after angels, he could start with reforming immigration policy,” quipped Maria Delgado, a community organizer in East L.A.
Cultural and Political Ramifications
Historians quickly weighed in on the proposal, calling it “symbolically tone-deaf.” Dr. Emilio Fuentes, a UCLA professor of Latin American studies, noted, “The name Los Angeles reflects the region’s history under Spanish and Mexican rule. Renaming it to ‘The Angels’ feels like erasure wrapped in nationalism.”
But Trump remained undeterred.
“You know, when people think of America, they think of greatness. And angels are great. The best. I know a lot about angels,” he said. “Some people say I’m the best president for angels, ever.”
What’s Next?
The bill is unlikely to pass in the Democrat-controlled Senate, but political analysts say it may serve its true purpose: rallying Trump’s base ahead of the 2026 midterms. “It’s red meat for cultural warriors,” said political strategist Dana Coulter. “He knows the bill won’t become law, but it gets headlines — and it stokes the identity politics his campaign thrives on.”
Whether or not The Angels ever becomes a real place, the name may already have taken root — at least in the Trumpiverse. His website has already begun selling “I ♥ The Angels” merchandise, including hats, mugs, and a limited-edition cologne called Heavenly Victory.
As for the city itself, Los Angeles will carry on — with its name, its culture, and its Spanish accent intact.