Military Heads Spin as Trump Turns to NFTs

White Hats’ heads were spinning Thursday morning after President Donald J. Trump unveiled his newest sales pitch—a $99 non-fungible token (NFT) of him wearing a superhero costume and telling buyers each purchase included a chance to dine with him at Mar-a-Lago, a source in General David H. Berger’s office told Real Raw News.

General Berger, our source said, gaped at the announcement in utter disbelief as he fielded phone calls from councilmembers who, too, wondered why the man who had empowered them to pursue Deep State arrests and restore order to a fractured nation developed a sudden fascination with trading cards.

Trump’s statement came two days after he posted to Truth Social: “AMERICA NEEEDS A SUPERHERO I will be making a MAJOR ANNOUNCEMENT tomorrow. Thank you!”

What concerned Gen. Berger the most, our source said, was that Trump Tuesday evening telegraphed the military echelon that he’d be delivering a message of “monumental” importance that would resonate among the American populace “like nothing this country has ever seen.” Gen. Berger had at once emailed Trump, asking for clarification, and Trump wrote back, “You’ll see. This is what the country has been waiting for. It’s huge.”

According to our source, General Berger and his council of twelve thought Trump planned a big reveal: to tell the citizenry that criminals like Hillary Clinton, George Bush, and members of the criminal Biden regime had been tried, convicted, and executed at Guantanamo Bay. Or maybe that Nancy Pelosi, whose military tribunal is still underway at GITMO, would soon head to gallows.

But such a revelation never surfaced. Instead, MAGA patriots got a picture of Trump wearing a red jumpsuit and thigh-high blue boots with the number “45” stenciled at the knee, and text reading, “Collect all your favorite digital Trump trading cards.”

“General Berger’s phone was ringing constantly,” our source said. “His advisors and White Hat officers across the country couldn’t believe what they were seeing, literally. Many of them criticized his allegiance to Trump and said it was time to jump ship before it’s too late, that Trump lost his marbles. I think he talked to 50 people last night, if not more. Only one, Col. Brent Lindemen, said something seemed off.”

Colonel Brent Lindemen is Commander of the 5th Special Forces Group. He is a graduate of Texas Christian University, having received his commission as an Infantry second lieutenant through the Reserve Officer Training Corps in 1998. Lieutenant Colonel Lindeman’s initial assignment was to the 82nd Airborne Division, followed by the Special Forces Qualification Course and assignment to the 5th Special Forces Group (Airborne) where he commanded at the detachment, company, and battalion level.  Lieutenant Colonel Lindeman deployed numerous times to Iraq in support of Operation IRAQI FREEDOM and Operation NEW DAWN. In 2020, he rejected Biden’s so-called victory and joined the White Hat movement.

Col. Lindeman, our source said, told Gen. Berger that the real President Trump was either kidnapped or killed and replaced by a doppelganger. Lindeman first pointed to Trump’s 2024 presidential announcement speech, which, according to many astute observers, seemed restrained, timid, and “unTrumpish.” Lindeman then told Gen. Berger that the real President Trump would not have dined with Kanye West and Nick Fuentes at Mar-a-Lago, especially with Navy SEALs vetting every guest.

“With respect, General, we should consider the real possibility Trump is not Trump,” Col. Lindemen reportedly said. “We know this happens. We know it has been happening.”

Gen. Berger, however, was reluctant to believe Trump had been replaced by a body double or clone. President Trump, Gen. Berger said, had been under “protective guard” and heightened security for years.

In closing, our source said that Gen. Berger will hold an emergency meeting to “entertain the possibility.”

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